13 Reasons Why

I just finished watching this show last night and I still feel something I’m not quite able to put into words.

I had previously read some criticism about the show regarding how negative it could be, impactful on teenagers and how inappropriate it was to romanticize the notion of suicide in this manner.

Romanticize?! Well, I had only watched one episode back when I read all of this, and I was sort of in agreement. Yes, romanticizing such a thing could never be a good thing, it would tell the victims that these actions were a good answer to whatever they were feeling. But now, after I’ve watched the whole show, I must state: I totally understand all of the concerns, but I saw it in a different light.

It’s disturbing, I indeed can’t deny it. In my country we have this saying that I can’t  precisely recall right now, but it’s about how children can be cruel sometimes, but when you’re a teenager, the cruelty you can exert can inflict so much more damage... 

The show is good (that’s probably the reason it launched so much controversy around it) but what I wanted to let you know right now is in relation to the way I interpreted it.

I think we can’t avoid all ugly topics in this world, especially in this day and age, yet, the World Health Organization (WHO) advises media not to show explicit scenes of suicide. So, can this be harmful more than it is good or sane? Well, I think it depends…

From the very fist episode, I realized that the show wasn’t made for the victim, but rather for the bullies. It was some way of telling them “Are you watching this? Really? Pay attention then, watch and witness what it is you’re actually doing!” 

I still think that way. And, it’s also aimed at parents and other adults who are around teenagers. It shows you some of the signs, the subtle tells that something might be wrong and it could be a good call for some adults to pay attention to those details.

But… how about the victim?

I watched some interviews with producers and actors and they all talked about how the victims should see that there is always someone who loves them, someone to whom they can ask for help and that just like Hannah they too would leave behind a trail of suffering… It’s all true, except for the victim. He or she will never see it like that. 

“That’s a show, real life is different!” sounds like something you’d hear from a suicidal person. When a person already made their decision, they don’t see the obvious because the suffering has grown too big, it’s too much, too hard and everything else becomes blurry or hidden away, out of the sight.

So, technically, for some suffering teenagers a show like this could do more harm than good and because of that, I’d advise any adults to watch it with your kids and discuss the topic. Use it to show them you’re there and you can understand… It doesn’t matter if your kid is the bully or the victim, you must be there for them and must try to be understanding, because, in any way, he or she is suffering. A lot.

Despite that, what I can’t agree with is the fact that some people watched the suicide scene as the boogeyman of it all. I’m sorry, that’s a horrible and disturbing scene. It wasn’t romanticized, and definitely wasn’t showing that it’s in any way, an easy way out. I just hope that a suffering teenager can see that…

But, in the end, I’ll still stick with my idea: the show wasn’t made for or aimed at the victims, but rather the people who deal with them every day, and want to and should help.

It shows the teenagers that they need to be more kind to each other, take care of each other and most of all, they must have the conscience that indifference can be bad, and can kill, almost as much as bullying. 

And for the adults, it’s a good wake-up call too, reminding them of how it was to be a teenager. I remember watching the first episode and thinking that I wouldn’t give a crap about a stupid photo, but for an adolescent, things are different. 

Everything seems to last forever and everything is the end of their world. They can’t see how much they have ahead of them and how much things will change and the people that are their friends now, they probably won’t even hang out with or see them again when they’re all adults, so some things really aren’t that definitive or final. 

So, I must end this review by telling all of you adults: never forget what it was like when you were a teenager yourself.