I just finished watching 13 Reasons Why last night, and I still feel something I’m not quite able to put into words.
Suicide is a Heavy Topic
I had previously read some criticism about the show regarding how negative it could be, how impactful it could be on teenagers, and how inappropriate it was to romanticize the notion of suicide in this manner.
Romanticize?! Well, I had only watched one episode when I read all of this, and I was somewhat in agreement. Yes, romanticizing such a thing could never be a good thing; it would tell the victims that these actions were a suitable response to their feelings. However, after watching the entire show, I must admit that I now understand all the concerns, but I saw it from a different perspective.
Are Teens Evil?
It’s disturbing, I indeed can’t deny it. In my country, we have this saying that I can’t precisely recall right now, but it’s about how children can be cruel sometimes, but when you’re a teenager, the cruelty you can exert can inflict so much more damage...
Is Hiding the Answer?
The show is good (that’s probably the reason it sparked so much controversy around it), but I wanted to let you know something related to my interpretation.
I think we can’t avoid all ugly topics in this world, especially in this day and age, yet the World Health Organization (WHO) advises the media not to show explicit scenes of suicide. So, can this be more harmful than it is good or sane? Well, I think it depends…
It's For the Bullies
From the very first episode, I realized that the show wasn’t made for the victim, but rather for the bullies. It was some way of telling them, “Are you watching this? Really? Pay attention then, watch and witness what it is you’re actually doing!”
I still believe that way. It’s also directed at parents and other adults around teenagers. It highlights some of the signs, the subtle clues that something might be wrong, and it may be wise for some adults to pay close attention to those details.
But… how about the victim?
I watched some interviews with producers and actors, and they all talked about how the victims should see that there is always someone who loves them, someone to whom they can ask for help, and that just like Hannah (Katherine Langford), they too would leave behind a trail of suffering… This is well represented by Hannah's mom, played by Kate Walsh (who can also be seen in other shows, such as The Umbrella Academy or Emily in Paris). It’s all true, except for the victim. He or she will never see it like that.
“That’s a show, real life is different!” sounds like something you’d hear from a suicidal person. When a person has already made their decision, they don’t see the obvious because the suffering has grown too big, it’s too much, too hard, and everything else becomes blurry or hidden away, out of sight.
So, technically, for some suffering teenagers, a show like this could do more harm than good, and because of that, I’d advise any adults to watch it with their kids and discuss the topic. Use it to show them you’re there and you can understand… It doesn’t matter if your kid is the bully or the victim; you must be there for them and must try to be understanding, because, in any way, he or she is suffering. A lot.
Despite that, what I can’t agree with is the fact that some people watched the suicide scene as the boogeyman of it all. I’m sorry, that’s a horrible and disturbing scene. It wasn’t romanticized, and it definitely wasn’t portrayed as an easy way out. I just hope that a suffering teenager can see that…
Stop the Indifference
In the end, I’ll still stick with my idea: the show wasn’t made for or aimed at the victims, but rather the people who deal with them every day, and want to and should help.
It shows teenagers that they need to be kinder to each other, take care of one another, and, most of all, they must have the conscience that indifference can be just as bad, if not worse, than bullying.
And for the adults, it’s a good wake-up call too, reminding them of what it was like to be a teenager. I remember watching the first episode and thinking that I wouldn’t give a crap about a stupid photo, but for an adolescent, things are different.
Everything seems to last forever, and everything is the end of their world. They can’t see how much they have ahead of them and how much things will change. The people who are their friends now may not even hang out with or see them again when they’re all adults, so some things really aren’t that definitive or final.
So, I must tell all of you adults: never forget what it was like when you were teenagers yourselves.
The Answers
The show is a success because it shocks, and because it raises questions, sparking conversations that are scary but necessary. There will be a season 2. Should it? I'm not sure, but I'm curious to watch it.
The tapes left by Hannah are what is usually missed by those who stay: the reasons. Why would someone end their own life?
The show is far from perfect, but its impact tells us that we need to address the topic.
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