John Winchester is one of the main characters of Supernatural, even though he rarely appears. It is because of him that Sam and Dean get together again, and the story starts.
So, what's his problem? He's a terrible father!
Through Dean's Eyes
In the beginning, most of us like John, and the one or two things he says or does which are idiotic… well, we ignore them. He looks cute and clearly loves his boys.
We mostly see him by Dean's eyes, and Sam looks like a brat complaining that daddy doesn't understand him. Then John dies, we all share some tears, and dead guys tend to be seen as perfect, right?
The past isn’t that glamorous
As the story evolves, you may start questioning yourself about some things. Who raised the boys? Were they alone all the time? Why does he fight with everyone? If you look closely, the boys aren't always well-received by John's old friends, and most of them don't see him in a long time because… they had a fight.
Are all his friends and acquaintances unbearable? Or is he?
The proof
The story keeps evolving, and we are able to see the memories of many characters. It is almost like each episode unveils something.
The ones that had a deeper impact on me are when Dean remembers a huge fight between their parents. He says the marriage wasn't perfect until she died… typical, right? But what was that fight about? Why did John walk away from them? And for how long? Sounds like a wrong move. Sam's line says it all "I just never realized how long you've been cleaning up Dad's messes."
And, of course, in many episodes about their childhood, and early teens, we always see them alone. Dean taking care of Sam. Where is John? Always hunting. Never… parenting.
It doesn't end here, though. With time, things get worst. Sam wasn't a brat. He was right. John was rude to the boys and forced them not to be children. He is vindictive and doesn't look at the means, even if they mean ignoring or hurting his children.
I think the most obvious proof of this was the episode when Bobby Singer died. He is going through his memories of the boys, and he recalls a day when he took Dean to the park to play with a ball instead of shooting and training. Later, John fights with him (what a surprise!) because of that. Bobby tries to explain that the kids are… well, kids, but John gives the most common answer crappy parents use, "You are not their father." Or something like this. Isn't he John?
The good guy is actually abusive and disrespectful
John Winchester is a character that darkens a scene. Every time we see him, he looks like he has the world's weight on his shoulders. There is no space for anything (or anyone) else.
Honestly, what it looks like is that he is struggling with his own guilt. And that's not because he didn't imagine a demon would come for Mary. Deep down, he knows he's an abusive father. He is the kind of parent that most people don't realize is abusive, most of the time not even the kids, because… he loves them very much.
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