Those Who Leave and Those Who Stay - Book Review

Those Who Leave and Those Who Stay, (in its original “stori di chi fugge e di chi resta”) is the third book of Elena Ferrante’s saga, started with My Brilliant Friend. 

In this Intermediate Time, Lenú leaves her neighborhood in Naples for a new life as a renowned author, mother, and wife. 

Since the beginning, her marriage seems a bit empty to the reader. This relationship never fulfills her desires. So it comes as no surprise when she starts to think about Nino, her old passion, again.

Maturity and Anguish

Throughout this book, we can see a more mature and independent Elena. However, she continues to obsessively compare herself with Lila, the origin of many doubts and anguish.

She still sees Naples as a source of violence, especially against women. Yet, even far from there, Naples is always present in her life, and she didn’t reach the happiness or freedom she expected by living in a different town. Her husband is distant, motherhood is complicated, and her success in the first book seems less and less important now that she can’t seem to write another one. 

Lila’s life doesn’t look easier or happier. She works too much. She is always tired and watches her son grow increasingly distant from what was desirable. Lila faces all these situations surrounded by an environment of growing social agitation, where she gets involved almost without noticing.

The way Ferrante carries us to the political-social environment of the characters without losing focus of their personal story is an impressive ability.

Worker’s Movement

The political and social instability that Ferrante describes so well takes on massive importance in our protagonists' lives. One night, Lila tells Elena about the terrible conditions in which she has to work, as well as how her boss takes advantage of his position with the female workers. Once more, Naples is connected with violence and injustice.

Lila becomes responsible for exposing the dirt. Her ability to speak and lead people together in the same direction is evident at this point. 

However, what looks absolutely unacceptable to us doesn’t seem so important for many of the characters. Lila, herself, has more significant problems, different priorities. After all, the workers' conditions in the factory were just one more thing on top of the many social and political issues they already had to face every single day. This is very well explained by Elena, in a simple sentence:

“Closer things are constantly falling down, falling apart, falling away.”

The Role of Women

The role of women is intelligently explored in Ferrante’s work. Lenú is a feminist, even if she doesn’t know that, and she is continually thinking about the space left for women in that society.

However, despite living in a time of emancipation, Elena can’t fully enjoy these changes. She is still a source of shame for her family inside the neighborhood. She is unhappy in her marriage, and instead of living a life of silence and sadness, she decides to end the relationship.

On the other side, hypocrisy quickly arises when she realizes that her younger sister is living with a man without being married. In this case, it is not a problem for Elena’s family because he is an important figure in the neighborhood. 

Living through times of change and ongoing reconstruction of moral values, Elena still feels a growing sense of injustice. 

Complex Relationships

Concerning relationships, nothing is easy for Lenú. No relationship is that linear.

Her main relationship, not only in this book but in the whole saga, is with Lila. No doubt. However, Lenú shows a duality of feelings towards her childhood friend, which keeps their relationship in a constant, precarious balance. The rivalry between them is evident from the first book, but it seems to grow as they age. Elena needs her, but can’t deal with her manners and her straightforward, hurtful criticisms.

We could tell that Elena has a problematic relationship with herself as well. She wants to move forward, having a life away from Naples and everything the town represents to her. Nonetheless, her most profound feelings seem more in line with the environment she despises. She lives between two worlds and feels that she doesn’t fit in any of them. 

Ups and Downs

One of the things I like about Ferrante’s story is the sense of realism we get from it. Elena’s life is full of ups and downs, like the lives of all of us. She keeps going, fighting her battles, and trying to balance everything. Sometimes, with success; other times, it seems that her whole world is falling apart. I found it a very realistic way to represent real life. 

Elena has to balance her literary ambition with her personal life. Her need for freedom, personally and professionally, with her image of wife and mother.

Good Plot, Good Rhythm

Those Who Leave and Those Who Stay is a densely plotted story with excellent narrative rhythm. The abyss between the two main characters widens with the different lifestyles they now lead. Elena is in a different world now. However, the scenes of violence and, sometimes, cruelty keep happening around her, making her think more seriously about the role of women in that society.

In this book, Elena seems to tell less of Lila’s story and more of her own. This choice appears to be a clear attempt to escape her influence, which Elena blames for her doubts and unhappiness.

Ferrante tells a story that connects the political and domestic lives of a generation in a marvelous way, making it difficult for you to put the book down. The ending of the book is not exactly a surprise, but it is, no doubt, an excellent way to make us pick up the next volume.