Those Who Leave and Those Who Stay

Those Who Leave and Those Who Stay, (in its original “stori di chi fugge e di chi resta”) is the third book of Elena Ferrante’s saga, started with My Brilliant Friend.

In this Intermediate Time, Lenú gets away from her neighborhood in Naples, towards a new life, as a renowned author, mother, and wife. Since the beginning, her marriage seems a bit empty to the reader. This relationship never fulfills her desires. So it comes with no surprise when she starts to think about Nino, her old passion, again.

Maturity and Anguish

Throughout this book, we can see a more mature and independent Elena. However, she continues to obsessively compare herself with Lila, being that the origin of many doubts and anguishes.

She still sees Naples as a source of violence, especially against women. Yet, even far from there, Naples is always present in her life, and she didn’t reach the happiness or freedom she expected by living in a different town. Her husband is distant, motherhood is complicated, and her success in the first book seems less and less important now that she can’t seem to write another one. 

Lila’s life doesn’t look easier nor happier. She works too much. She is always tired and watches her son become more and more distant from what was desirable. Lila faces all these situations surrounded by an environment of growing social agitation where she gets involved almost without noticing.

The way Ferrante carries us to the political-social environment of the characters without lose focus of their personal story is an impressive ability.

Worker’s Movement

The political and social instability that Ferrante describes so well takes massive importance in our protagonists' life. One night, Lila tells Elena the terrible conditions in which she has to work, as well as the fact that her boss takes advantage of his position with the female workers. Once more, Naples is connected with violence and injustice.

Lila becomes responsible for exposing the dirt. Her ability to speak and lead people together in the same direction is evident at this point. 

However, what looks absolutely unacceptable to us, doesn’t seem so important for many of the characters. Lila, herself, has more significant problems, different priorities. After all, the workers' conditions on the factory were just one more thing, on top of so many social and political issues they already have to face every single day. This is very well explained by Elena, in a simple sentence:

“Closer things are constantly falling down, falling apart, falling away.”

The Role of Women

The role of women is intelligently explored in Ferrante’s work. Lenú is a feminist, even if she doesn’t know that and she is continually thinking about the space left for women in that society.

However, and despite living in a time of emancipation, Elena can’t fully enjoy these changes. She is still a motive of shame for her family inside the neighborhood. She is not happy with her marriage, and instead of living a life of silence and sadness, she decides to end her relationship.

On the other side, hypocrisy quickly arises when she realizes that her younger sister is living with a man without being married. In this case, it is not a problem for Elena’s family because he is an important figure in the neighborhood. 

Living through times of changing and a continued reconstruction of moral values, Elena still has a growing feeling of injustice. 

Complex Relationships

Concerning relationships, nothing is easy for Lenú. No relationship is that linear.

Her main relationship, not only in this book but in the whole saga, is with Lila. No doubt. However, Lenú shows a duality of feelings towards her childhood friend, which keeps this complicated relationship in a constant precarious balance. The rivalry between them is evident from the first book, but it seems to grow as they age. Elena needs her, but can’t deal with her manners and her straight forward, hurtful critics.

We could tell that Elena has a problematic relationship with herself as well. She wants to move forward, having a life away from Naples and everything the town represents to her. Nonetheless, her most profound feelings seem to be more alike with this environment that she despites. She lives between two worlds and feels that she doesn’t fit any of them. 

Ups and Downs

One of the things that I like in Ferrante’s story is the sense of realism we get from there. Elena’s life is full of ups and downs, like the lives of all of us. She keeps going, fighting her battles, and trying to balance everything. Sometimes with success, while other times, it seems that her whole world is falling apart. I found it a very realistic way to represent real life. 

Elena has to deal and balance her literary ambition with her personal life. Her need for freedom, personally and professionally, with her image of wife and mother.

Good Plot, Good Rhythm

Those Who Leave and Those Who Stay is a densely plotted story with excellent narrative rhythm. The abyss of differences between the two main characters increases by the different life-styles they have now. Elena is in a different world now. However, the scenes of violence and, sometimes cruelty, keep happening around her, making her think more seriously in the women’s role in that society.

In this book, Elena seems to tell less of Lila’s story and more of her own. This choice appears as a clear attempt to escape from her influence, which Elena blames for her doubts and unhappiness.

Ferrante tells a story, connecting the political and domestic life of a generation in a marvelous way that makes it difficult for you to put the book down. The ending of the book is not exactly a surprise, but it is, no doubt, an excellent way to make us pick up the next volume.